Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
how does that bad decision feel?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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