1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
