Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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