you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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