if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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