OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
