Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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