It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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