what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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