Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Fuck appropriateness.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
