Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
