Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
