This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
