remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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