Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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