Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
