Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
