she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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