im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
