i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
