Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
