never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
