So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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