Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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