so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
