What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
