yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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