Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
