just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
