doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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