i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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