Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Blood and glitter go together right?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
