You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
