Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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