i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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