I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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