Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
