I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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