marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
