it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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