do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
