How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
