he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just googled if crying burns calories
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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