i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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