I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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