listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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