K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
a search helicopter?!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
