I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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