he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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