Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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