she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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