you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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