oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
