who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
