Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
