I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
