WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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