meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
