so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
