I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
