Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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