The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
