were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
