My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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