my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
