Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
