Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
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Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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