If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
