I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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