i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
