since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
