god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will be naked everywhere
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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