Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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